Monday, September 12, 2005
Sadness
Hello again My Space. I don't think anyone reads this, but it is easier to type and hit post than dig out my journal and try to manage ledgible handwriting.
Today, I am sad. My sister is in Marine boot camp in South Carolina. I didn't figure I'd miss her this much- I only got to see her once a week or so when she was here. But,in the last few months, she was the closest thing to a friend I've had. I didn't realize that until she was gone. And now I am more lonely.
Today, I am also sad because everything I have invested myself in looks to collapse and... end. I'm talking about the ministry I began 3.5 years ago- D+R+A+M+A. We've been in financial trouble, well, since the beginning. A lot of "start up costs" that never got paid back. Lots of job offers- everyone wants to see the professional Christian theatre ministry. But, the problem is actors. I can't find any who will commit and work for free and do good work. I mean, I've now sat through two days of auditions (costing $45 in rental fees), to have no one show up. To rub salt in that wound, today was suppose to be the first day of rehearsal for our Fall 2005 season. No one came. (I blared sad italian music, via Josh Groban, while I sat and waited.) I thought at least one or two old members would return. But they didn't. And I didn't even cry. It was just... over. I knew that. However, I will show up, ready to recieve, at the last 4 days of auditions that we have and to all scheduled rehearsals. I don't hope. I'm just obligated. If no one comes again next weekend, I will have to contact all of those I have contracted performances with and cancel. I will do everything I can to save this team and this ministry. Why? So that no one can blame me when it ends. I will have done everything I could. It just wasn't enough. Maybe, in a couple of years when the debt isn't weighing over me so much (it will take me 2 years to pay off the debt out of my own pocket- and what really sucks is I can't find a job), well, as I was saying, maybe in a couple of years D+R+A+M+A will make a comeback.
Or, maybe, I'll finally be out of college and living over seas in a 3rd world country telling people about Jesus who've never heard. That, truthfully, would be even better. But, it's really just a dream. Like D+R+A+M+A was once a dream. A dream that is over without ever coming true... wow, that was sappy sad.
And the last reason I am sad is because I don't feel good. I'm fighting a couple of infections and my UC (Ulcerative Colitis) is threatening to act up. It makes me want to sleep under heavy blankets and not eat, waiting for the small- very small- fevor to break and to just feel better. Sleep cures everything for me, or at least it use to when I was a kid. Strep throat? 2 days of sleep and lots of OJ. Cold? 3 days of sleep and tomate soup. I never had anything worse than that, no flu, no stomach viruses, nothing. Until I got to college. And my health went to hell. As a missionary, you can loose your family, your friends, your finances, and all your stuff. All you need is your health. I've lost everything, but still held onto my dream of being a missionary because I could still "just go." And, now my health's gone too. And I'm still stuck in Denton, Texas. Going to college. Almost done with those degrees- that worthless piece of paper that says "I went here for a really long time, and then, I finally left."
I am sad because I hate my life and I blame God.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
my friends
My friends all updated their blogs, so I thought I would update mine.
I recieved my first phone call from overseas the other day. My friend Matt called to tell me he is engaged to a 35 year old Korean woman who speaks English at the high school level. Her name, in English, is Julia. (Matt is 23 for those who care.) He hasn't even told his parents yet. Matt is in Korea teaching English and fancying himself as a missionary.
Um, college sucks. It's all I do. I'm afraid of the power tools in scene shop. I never thought I'd see the day when all I wanted was to be assigned to paper mache. (hey,that ryhmed.) I'm also afraid of chemicals in the chem lab. I mean, really, what are those safety glasses going to do?
The state of Texas is going to pay me a WHOPPING $87 per week in unemployment. Wahoo. Gas money. Forgetting eating or rent. Yay! More debt!
I am back on more medication to deal with lots of infections raveging my body. Fun, fun CRAPPY life I lead. It basically means I can't drink any alcohol to deal with my life, so lots and lots of chocolate.
Speaking of which, I just decided what I'm having for lunch- a giant fudge round followed by a piece of cheesecake...
I plan on being fat and unhappy.
Monday, September 19, 2005
poem
Taken directly from my journal entry.
I feel like writing a poem. Here it goes.
Untitled
The rose wilts inside its glass cage.
I have forgotten how to fly
no more happy thoughts
Lost
lost
And my heart continues to pound
my breath drawn in, blows out
back in yet again
All evidence, factual proof even
that I am continuing this "life" of quiet desperation.
Laura L. Watson
9-18-05
What do we think, people?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
an update
I haven't updated my loyal readers in a while.
The only things I've done is give plasma for money (TT, we're sending William to college one way or the other!), not go to class, stress about the 2 tests and semester presentation I have due this week in classes I have not been to, and watch entirely too much television.
To make it special, I lite candles and turned out the lights to watch the premiere of Desperate Housewives. I'm such a Susan. Anyways, looks to be a good season.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I don't feel good
I just don't feel very good these days. My ulcerative colitis is acting up more and more, threatening an all out flare up. It's my first flare up since my diagnosis. I'm not happy that this horrid little monster inside feels the need to rear it's painfully ugly head.
Also, my sleep schedule seems off. One, I sleep too much, but rarely for long periods of time. I've become a cat. Sleep an hour or three here, get up and do something, then back to sleep. (Usually on the couch.) I'm working on it.
Yeah, college is still horrible. I should have NEVER come here. What a waste of time, money, energy, tears. I wanted a degree (or three) to give to my parents. It meant something to them. Me, I just wanted to go be a missionary (and there is no degree for that.) I figured, honor my mother and father, do as they ask. Get the degree, then go continue with my calling from God. Now, I'm stuck in the USA with a horrid disease, too many degrees, and a lot of regret. I could have gotten in5 years of missions traveling if I had forfeited college as I wanted. Just think about it. If I were destined to get UC, I would have come home after 5 years of... whatever, then started college, and it would all have worked out. Instead, I spent my healthy years slugging around UNT lost, depressed, and pissed only to be stuck here. What a waste.
I'm mad at God. I want to know why. He can pick any why question I've presented Him within the last year. Why ulcerative colitis which will keep me from the mission field I wanted- the 3rd world country with people groups who've never heard the gospel? Why is D+R+A+M+A failing? Why am I still stuck in the hell hole known as Denton? Why can't I make friends? Why do the friends I was once so close to seem so far away (other than the fact that one in another city has a girlfriend, one has a fiance he is with in Korea, and the other moved out of state)? Why can't I get a handle on my finances- I stopped spending, but I can't get a job so the debt just remains? Why, why why, and oh yeah, what the hell am I suppose to do with my life now? No international missions (not long term as I dreamed of), no local ministry, no money, no friends, bad health... I am Job (without a wife and kids). People keep telling me to read Job, even my sister who is suffering through Marine boot camp tells me to read Job. I do, I have. Job asked the same questions.
Let me be clear, this is not a crisis of faith. This is stagnent faith. Jesus is Lord, I am OH so grateful He died and rose again. He rules, He has a plan- a GOOD plan, and etc etc etc. I could go on for days. My thing to study is apologetics- why believe what we believe. I'm not questioning the evidence, the testimony, or what I know God has done in the past. But Job (and I) have presented Him with very simple questions. He answers with "trust me, I created everything, I have a plan, worship me." Well, right, wrong, and different, I say that's not an answer. It's all true and very important to worship through the hard times. But I can't get my mind past the need for an answer. So, I'm hunkering down, I guess asking for prayers, and waiting until He speaks. I'm in a starring contest/quiet game with the all powerful GOD of the universe. First one to blink and/or speak looses. My chances are slim, but I was once told don't move until God shows you where to go. Don't do anything until He guides you. I have asked. I want Jeremiah 33:3 (call to me and I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.) Seek and ye shall find, ask and it shall be answered, knock and the door shall be opened. I'm waiting for guidance. I'm waiting for answers.
I'm waiting to hear God say the word "Because... )
Sunday, October 16, 2005
About the same
Well, it sure has been a while since I updated this thing.
Sad to say, it's all about the same, except I'm listening (for the 4th time today) to Josh Groban's self titled CD and enjoying a great day dream about me and him.... but I think there are a few minors who read this, so I have to keep it PG. But, in my day dream, we've been married 16 months yesterday. Happy, happy, wowness... I figure skate and write academy award and tony award winning scripts when I'm not flying around the world (think Peter Pan) or treking through the jungle spreading the gospel. He sings to me... And I'm back at my space in semi-reality.
Somebody send me roses, please. I haven't gotten flowers in two years. I want flowers. They don't have to be real. The real ones are nice and smell fairly good, but then they die and I'm left with an empty vase. Fake ones last forever. White, red, or black- if that's your mood. Or just a card, whatever.
My health still sucks, but in different ways. None of it fun. None of it cureable. My mother today told me to "get over it, it's just an uncomfortable annoyance." I say this fully knowing she has given birth twice, SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT PAIN IS. Her pain resulted in children, which seems to be a good thing for her. My pain results in bloody poop several times a day. Her pain lasted several hours. Mine is lifelong, forever, until I die.
Was that t.m.i.? Oh sorry. But if anyone asks me more than 5 times in a month how I'm doing, I'm going to stop lying with "fine" and start showing pictures! If you don't want to hear the truth about my horrible, nasty, gross, and socially unacceptable disease, don't ask about it.
Um, I've been giving plasma regularly (shh, don't tell the doctors there I don't feel good- you're suppose to be in good health to give-UC is okay,though, if it's in remission.) And I've been baby-sitting, so more money for William's college fund. No money for me. Debt, debt, debt. It's going down slowly, no missed payments, and I almost always pay twice the minimum. It's just that it's so much. Basically, I'm doing everything I can to pay it off-legally- so debt help agenicies can't help me more. You can thought. Checks should be made out to either Laura or D+R+A+M+A can sent to the address on the DRAMA website, www.disciplesrunningaroundmadlyacting.org.
And I'm not saying that to be cute... I'm dead serious.
College, I assume, still sucks. I haven't been going to any class that doesn't have an attendance policy. I did get a butt load of hours in the scene shop and on the light crew. It was actualy fun. I built something called a flat- think of it as the foundation for scenary to be made. I'm thinking of finishing it off, once I get it graded, as a breakfast-in-bed tray for my mom and dad (it's big) for Christmas. We'll see. I still dislkike the big scary power tools.
And that's all folks. Money, college, health, family. Oh, God. I keep getting invited to church. I wish I could make people understand. I AM ANGRY WITH THE ALMIGHTY. If He won't answer my simple question, I'm not going to go in a skirt and pantyhose just to listen to promises of enlightenment and wisdom if I "just ask"- which I did ask and I'm still waiting. And the alternative is to get emotionally manipulated while I wait by a man with a microphone, powerpoint, and a guy in the tech booth working the atmosphere via the lights and air conditioning. HE can meet me infront of the TV any time of the week and say the word I'm still waiting for. "Because..."
I did have an interesting thought the other day, but I try not to dwell. Feel free to respond if you have some knowledge of judgement. But, since I didn't graduate high school and "get on a boat" as they say to go be a missionary like God said, but instead decided to "honor my mother and father" and get my college degree(s) as they demanded-uh-asked, and THEN head off to the mission field with their blessing- which I was informed was absolutely necessary to have a blessed ministry in the field-, since I disobeyed God, is ulcerative colitis my punishment, or was He pushing me to go then because He knew this disease would eventually ground me back at home, or is He using it to get my attention now. And once in the field, will I'll be cured? Should I even attempt long term missions now like I wanted, or should I just set up permanent shop with D+R+A+M+A and be a local missionary, a Jerusalem missionary, a single, broken hearted, regret filled, bitter, pissed off BITCHY local missionary?
Or should I once again honor my mother and just get over it?
What do we think people?
Hello?
Hello?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
I blinked
I'm not really sure what happened tonight.
I was reading my history book because I have a major exam tomorrow and I've only been to class once since the last exam. (I am so not prepared). So I psyched myself up to read 9 chapters over Colonial Latin American History when all of a sudden, I'm on page 2 and I start crying. I honestly wasn't feeling so great physically after having had a really good week. (I have been to every class and kept every appointment- on time even. I thought I was past this.) Anyways, it's a girl thing. If someone had asked me why I was crying, I would have sobbed, "I don't know". So, there I am, crying. I throw down the history book, because really, what's the point? And I'm looking around the room, just sobbing, and I see the book Purpose Driven Life. Now, no offense to Rick Warren, but I didn't like the book the first two times I went through Purpose Driven Life at two different churches. Nothing I disagreed with, just nothing I hadn't heard before. I know, I'm a smart ass, know it all. It takes a lot to impress me. (Wedgwood is an amazing church that taught me a lot.) But, I picked it up tonight.
Lately, I have been feeling very lost and without purpose. No D+R+A+M+A ministry, no job, no life project. Class and home. Laundry every other week. I seem to remember a past blog with the question What the hell am I suppose to do now. So, I pick up Purpose Driven Life. What the hell, ya know?
So, I skim the table of contents and head to the chapter What Drives Your life? Guilt, anger, materilism? Nope to all those things, Jesus and my desire to make a difference for the kingdom drives everyday of my life- or it did at one point and I dream it will one day again. So I skip down to the chapter The Reason for Everything. An entire chapter that says nothing more than It's all for God's glory over and over and over and over.Well, I know that. My ministry's logo is For the glory of God... Now, I'm not even reading the entire chapters at this point, I'm reading the introductions, the quotes, and the type in bold. So I skip to When God seems Distant. I'm skipping around, reading the same old same old stuff I've heard before- it's a time of testing, it can be sin seperating you, but it's really just a test. I'm feeling kinda bad- I failed the test. God wouldn't answer my questions and I stopped going to church. I told more people about God and discussed my faith (without the heartwrenching struggles of late) during this time than ever before with my theatre classmates. But He was being quiet and I was trying not to blink first while I waited for this time to pass.
So, I get stopped cold when I read about Jesus' struggle in the garden, when God felt very far away from Him. Then it jumps around to Job and to David, but I went back to the 3 sentences on Jesus.
I'm not really sure what happened. Except that I now realize I'm in the garden. It hurts. And I'm crying out. I already know the answer, but it still hurts, Daddy. It still hurts. The pain, the fatigue, the dehydration, the blood loss, it's all too much somedays- and that's with medication and modern luxeries. And I'm looking at going through this alone while in the jungle without medicine or doctor or my space blogs to pour my heart out? God, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I have the strength to do this and actually make the difference my heart longs to do.
I'm still in the garden.
That's all I have to say I guess. I'm in the garden. And I hope my friends aren't asleep when I need them to pray.
I think I just blinked.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
feeling better or maybe just different
Physically, I am finally feeling better. My stomach doesn't swell as big, but it still swells. I still fear the bathroom but the actual event itself isn't as painful as it has been. I guess I'm glad about that.
I actually went to every single class and appointment last week. (Not doing as good this week- but that has more to do with a need to sleep 17 hours a day.) I'm making an A in chemistry, I'll squeek out of Colonial Latin American History with a C, and I have no idea how my two theatre classes will go. College, college college. College sucks. It's my biggest regret.
D+R+A+M+A got some nice publicity in the Baptist Standard magazine. That was cool. One guy called offering us a job over Christmas. I couldn't seem to make him understand we're not performing because we can't afford to. I hope we get some summer jobs booked soon, or we'll just stay on hold until next summer. So much for the 2008 Olympics.
I can't afford anything. I'm not buying anyone except my immediate family Christmas gifts. I think I have some left over Christmas cards from last year. I'll probably work for H & R Block next Spring. It's not much, but it's something. The debt goes down, little by little. It hangs over my head everyday.
I'm not looking forward to Christmas. As much as I hate college, it at times keeps me busy. A reason to leave the house. I see this holiday time as 4 weeks of boredom and depression with a Christmas tree leaving fake pine needles all over my living room.
So, on my last blog I wrote that I had blinked. But God has still not spoken. I'm standing still. Waiting. Right, wrong, or different. I'm not moving until He tells me something.
I guess that's it. Congratulations to Jonathon on his engagement to Whitnee.
I hope more people will leave me messages or write blogs that I can read. That's the hilight of my day.
I have a very sad, pathetic life.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Patience and Persistence
It has been a rough couple of days, health wise. That's just how it is, I suppose.
I've been working on a few massive photo projects for family and friends for Christmas- may end up being some of the most expensive gifts I ever do, but they are also priceless. My home can burn down and I'll be fine, as long as I escape with my pictures and my journals.
So, anyways, it's 4am. I should be in bed. I just started my lastest favorite CD, TransSiberian Orchestra, Christmas Eve and other stories. I love Christmas.
Well, I'm up because I don't feel good, so I channell surfed until I found "Door to Door", the William H. Macy tv movie about a door to door salesman with cerbral palsy. His mother taught him patience and persistance will get the job done. He insisted on his independance and was even salesman of the year once. I cried, several times. It's been one of those days, where I just cried a lot about different stuff all day long. But, for once, this movie didn't leave me wanting to be just like the main character. "Hook" made me want to be Peter Pan. "The Little Mermaid" made me want to be a mermaid. "Dead Poets Society" made me want to teach. Law and Order makes me want to be a lawyer or a dectective. ER makes me want to be a paramedic.
What does that matter? Well, as some of you may have read, I've been struggling with what does a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis mean to someone who wants to be a missionary to a third world country, living among a people group who has no written language who have no knowledge of the outside world, no medicine, no modern luxeries. I mean, my ultimate goal in life is to die as a martyr. I would love to take the gospel into at least one country some day that has laws against people like me. I want to bring glory to God and see the saving of souls. So, that's my dream. Ulcerative Colitis victims can have "normal, vibrant, and thriving lives"... in the USA. What the hell is God up to?
I honestly don't have an answer.
All I know is that "Door to Door" made me want to be a missionary. Because ... patient but persistant.
If that man can make salesman of the year, then I can be a missionary. If Jesus can take the cross- even just life as a human being for 33 years- then I can be a missionary. So my health sucks. God's call on my life hasn't changed.
And after the cross came the empty grave. God's claim on my life has not changed. I do not have an existence. I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. I am alive. I claim this LIFE in the name of JESUS.
And I'm terrified. And I have peace. And I still have a few tears to cry apparently.
So, there's some wisdom after watching a sappy made for tv movie (that won a lot of emmy's) at 4am.
I'm going to bed because I have concrete plans to go to class, even the library. And then back to Walgreens to pick up 50 or so more photos.
Good night.
Friday, December 02, 2005
9-1-1
"Dr. Navarro, I have a really good reason why I didn't turn in the homework assignment.
You see, last night I was settling down after 7 hours of Christmas card writing, sealing, and stamping, to read the two chapters assigned and write the fascinating report about the battle for independence in the Spanish colonies, when I hear two cars pull up outside. It's about 2am (class isn't until 1pm), which is kind of late, so I listened to see if I knew who it was. Two guys get out and a girl kind of yelps.
Then, 5 male voices start screaming and cussing at each other. A lot of f-you's and what nots. They don't go anywhere, they just stand in the parking lot, screaming and throwing punches.
So, I did my good girl duty and called 9-1-1 ('cause we don't have a lesser emergency number like 3-1-1 in Denton) and asked if the cops that are normally outside the R Bar across the street could come to the back side of my apartments and break up the fight.I didn't want to wait until they broke a car window, or some guy came crashing through my bedroom window, or, worse case, shots were fired.
"Yes, could you please send cops to break up the fight in my courtyard?"
"They are yelling and throwing a few punches, but mostly yelling."
"No, I don't think they have any weapons. No shots fired, no one groaning from being stabbed, no one verbally threatening anyone, but there are a lot of beer bottles handy if someone was looking for a weapon."
"No, I don't know who they are, and I don't want to stick my head out my window and ask for id."
"Thank you."
About this time, the guys start yelling some rather unusual things like, 'Man, you're my brother, I love you, how could you do that (I'm omitting the PG-13 and R rated langauge), we're boys, we're boys, I hate you! Look at my face, just hit me! Sean, Ross, ahhhh' They really didn't vary from this until 3 minutes later (cops were fast) when I hear a loud "SHHHH COPS, BE QUIET."
But, that doesn't stop the contenders, who are apparently brothers (fraternity?) from duking it out. The cops come running in, and everyone starts to run. That's when I wish I had my video camera. These drunk, assumed fraternity guys, take off running. Since we have had two officers die in two weeks in the metroplex (hearts and prayers out to the men and women in blue...) and one fatal officer related shooting over Thanksgiving just up the street, these cops probably meant more business than usual. The cops pulled their guns and started yelling "Get back here! Don't move! On the ground."
So I did. Cops have their guns out, I'm laying down in the middle of my bedroom floor, just in case they meant me or bullets started flying. (I spent 5 years living behind the worse crack house in Fort Worth and then 8 terrifying minutes in a church shooting. I don't like shootings.) I stayed on the ground until it got quiet.
No shots fired, though that might have gotten me on the news (and helped my homework excuse.). The cops caught most of the guys, and the girl.
The girl was almost funny. They caught her on the north side of my apartment, and she put up a bit of a fight, saying she hadn't done anything wrong.
Everyone is handcuffed and sitting in cop cars. I hear the cops walking around talking to my neighbors. I had told 9-1-1 my name and apartment number, so I put on more descent clothes than usual to answer the door, brushed my teeth, and even picked up the apartment (at least the overflowing trash and the dirty underwear) in case the cops came knocking.
But they never did knock. That left me unable to concentrate on the text or the paper, or sleep. But my apartment is spotless, my more daring and nosey neighbors standing outside wathing were part of the police action while I cleaned and listened in, and for a while, our parking lot was full of police cars and flashing lights.
So, that's why, Dr. Navarro, I don't have my paper to turn in."
So, what's your best truthful excuse?
Tuesday December 27, 2005
"Oh God, what have I done"
Oh my God, what have I done?!
I just mailed 19 letters to family, friends, and church leaders/support teams. Normally, this would give me great joy- I love mailing out cards and notes. Probably has something to do with the fact that I love getting real mail. But, today, as I slid those envelopes into the big blue box, my stomach churned and my breath quickened.
I was admitting to the whole world that I really am going to be an international missionary who one day hopes to die a martyr's death.
The envelope that gave me most pause?
The one addressed to my parents.
Here's a copy of the letter and my life vision statment that accompanied it. (I was encouraged to write out my life vision statement by Pastor Jeff while at my church in Denton. Gives yourself focus and helps other ministers/ministries see who you are.)
God help us everyone:
December 27, 2005
I am writing to share my heart and plans concerning my future as an international missionary. Over the next year, I will begin very serious training in order to best prepare for my life overseas. You are essential to this preparation.
First, a testimony of God's call on my life and my journey to accepting this call:
When I first came forward during an invitation at age 14 and said God had called me to international missions, I thought I would follow the normal missionary path. Finish college, get married, learn a language, move to a new country with a small apartment and a secular job, probably teaching English. However, when I was 16, God began to speak to me about living amongst people who have NEVER heard of Jesus. He said I would live where Christianity was illegal, I was cut off from all other Christians, in constant danger, and I would need to know many languages. That sounded exciting- like a modern day Apostle Paul- but I was still like all American teenagers, full of American dreams. He asked me to give up marriage and children (leading me to a year long study of I Corinthians 7) in order to be completely focused on the work. I eventually realized marriage and children was no longer my heart's desire. God had changed my dreams. When I graduated high school, my parents stuffed me and all my stuff into my car and sent me to the University of North Texas where I double majored in World History and Theatre with a minor in newsprint Journalism. (Who knows how God will use my degrees in the field- my parents are just praying they are of eventual use.)
While at UNT, I joined a church and became an adult leader in their youth group. I started a youth theatre team that, when I left (after much turmoil and spiritual battle within this church), became the independent professional Christian theatre ministry Disciples Running Around Madly Acting (DRAMA) that I now direct. This is a wonderful ministry that provided a creative outlet for me and reached the unchurched through secular venues. However, as tempting as it was to stay and build this ministry up to Broadway level and tour internationally, God's call on my heart would not leave. After reading the books Bruchko by Bruce Olson and Chasing the Dragon by Jackie Pullinger, and meeting with Keith Wheeler, the man who carries a 12 foot cross around the world, God renewed my calling. I continued my work with DRAMA and took two short term mission trips to Romania.
In March of this year, I was given (seemingly) devastating news. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic condition with limited treatment and no cure. Basically, my immune system one day decided the inside of my intestines were evil, and then attacked with all its power causing the sores (or ulcers). When I tried to explain to my doctor about my traveling plans, he shook his head. Travel outside the U.S. should be limited to less than 10 days at a time. All the websites and information assures recently diagnosed patients that they can continue a long and fulfilling life- the American dream. I was not a patient with an American dream. This began a long period of deep depression for me. For months, I didn't leave the house, speak with friends, attend church, or acknowledge God. I locked myself into a staring contest with the Almighty God, and the first to blink, lost.
I would like to confess that I am a big looser.
After nearly nine months of silence, I cried out to God "what am I suppose to do with my life?!" I would not classify this time as a crisis of faith- I knew exactly who and what God is. The crisis was in who I was and who I am to be. A poet might label this as my time in the Garden. Jesus had His Gethsemane, so I guess I needed mine. God asked me a very simple question, who do I trust more? Dr. Joseph or Jesus Christ? As Brother Al says, Duh. God has assured me He knows all about Ulcerative Colitis, my dreams, and the call He gave me. My circumstances have changed a lot since my call at age 14. God has not.
Since that time, God has brought me opportunities that would start in the year after my college graduation (December 2006). One opportunity is to teach English and theatre in small villages in China with Volunteers for China, an organization that does open and legal ministry work in China. I have specifically asked for a one year assignment in a village that is previously unreached. Then, I would like to backpack through the East and Middle East praying for peace, giving help where it is needed, and talking about Jesus as much as possible. I will eventually get to New Guinea, where an acquaintance of an acquaintance has been serving for the last 30+ years. Edna Trigg and her husband were the first to make contact with a people group there. Her husband died two years ago just as their work is producing fruit. The preliterate language of the people is finally written and the Christians are now able to translate the Bible for the first time. Edna knows it will not be long before she goes Home. I would become her apprentice so to continue the work.
I do not believe New Guinea will become my permanent home, but a training ground for the work God has not yet revealed for me. I do not plan to be a 'Baptist' missionary requiring sponsorship nor will I be a church planter, I just want to make contact with people and tell them about Jesus. I don't want to bring them running water, electricity, or big church buildings- just Jesus. My heart is for people who have never heard the name of Jesus. My stubborn and persistent personality seems especially designed for hostile environments, specifically those who say I can't because I'm a) a woman b) American and c) a Christian. I would like to prove them wrong. My heart breaks for people groups oppressed by the majority, such as gypsies in Eastern Europe, rape victims in war torn places, and HIV/AIDS infested populations who need health care and education. My ultimate desire is that my life on this earth will end either as a martyr for Christ or in the Rapture with Christ.
The practical side of preparation is very important. I will need skills while over seas that will be my ticket into unreached people groups. I plan to complete paramedic and midwife training. Though I will not have modern medicine or machines, I want to learn all I can about field treatment in case of epidemics or accidents. Ms. Trigg has delivered a number of babies to young girls, sometimes as young as 14, without any medical training or assistance. She suggested the training because I would be in high demand among people that otherwise would not allow a Christian in. I am also talking with my doctor about weaning myself off the medication I am on. I believe God will provide either a cure or a miraculous healing, or 'the sufficient grace' I will need to deal with this 'thorn in my side'. Other preparations will include language tutoring in Mandarin Chinese and Swahili and evangelistic technique training. Please, if you have any additional books, advice, or training you think I need, do not hesitate. I will be a human sponge over the next year as I prepare to go.
The prayers of the saints- that's you!- are essential. In fact, your prayers are the most important preparation. I need your prayers for many reasons. The more I prepare for this, the more I will learn about the life and ministry of Christ. Over the next year, I will also be dealing with my parents who cannot comprehend these choices. They are like most parents, they want their child safe, happy, and close to home (and I've heard a mention about grandchildren.) I want to sign the rest of my life away to international missions in the most dangerous places I can find. They feel hurt, worried, and sometimes angry. We need prayer.
I am not sure what else to write. I just know that I need your prayers, that my family needs your prayers. Finances, the changing leadership of DRAMA (which will continue), my health, and concrete plans for the future are all in God's hands. Thank you for your constant support and for the solid Biblical training I have received over the years. Though it will be difficult to leave loved ones, I do not step out alone. I know God has set me apart for very special work in His kingdom. "Not my will but Thy will be done." For the glory of God
Always, in all ways, and forever
Laura L. Watson
My Vision Statement
Luke 1:49
For the Mighty One has done great things for me; HOLY is His name.
I, Laura Lea Watson, was created for a divine purpose as set before me by the one and only Holy God and confirmed when I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Therefore, in the name of Jesus, through the forgiveness of the blood and by the power of His bodily resurrection all given to me through the Holy Spirit, I will seek to glorify God in all I do so that I may know Him and make Him known. (Hebrews 9:14,22; Luke 24:1-7; and I Corinthians 10:31)
I will glorify God by using my life to step foot in as many countries as I can so to reach as many people groups with the gospel of Jesus Christ as possible. (Matthew 6:33; Acts 1:8; Matthew 10:20; Mark 13:10; and Romans 15:18-21)
I will glorify God by honoring my mother, father, and sister and nurture our relationship by being a Christ-like family member. (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3)
I will glorify God by completing my college education as though working for the Lord and not personal gain. I will never stop learning. (Proverbs 9:9-10)
I will glorify God through my service giving and service receiving in the local church, currently Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas. I particularly seek to glorify God in the following ministries: (Romans 12:1-2) A willing and cheerful participant in a small group's outreach, in reach, and discipleship opportunities. (Acts 2:42,44) and an occasional youth worker and prayer warrior. (Jeremiah 1:6-9)
I will glorify God through Disciples Running Around Madly Acting. DRAMA thrives, out of love for God and love for people, primarily to present the gospel to unbelievers; and secondly to serve, encourage, challenge, and teach fellow believers through any and all dramatic acts of worship all for the glory of God. (I Peter 4:11)
I will glorify God as a faithful giver of my tithes and offerings in obedience to God's word. I will also be a faithful steward of the material riches God has blessed me with. (Matthew 6:24: Malachi 3:10; Ecclesiastes 5:10)
I will glorify God by treating my body like the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is. I will not infest my body with harmful chemicals, particularly drugs or cigarettes, nor will I drink to excess. I will keep a regular fitness routine. I will also glorify God by remaining sexually pure. I will glorify God in my singleness at all times. (I Corinthians 3:16-17; I Corinthians 6:20; I Corinthians 7)
I do all things for the glory of God so that I may know Him and make Him known.
(Romans 11:36)
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love it is a hunger, an endless aching need. But God says Love it is a flower, and you its only seed.
It's my heart afraid of breaking that He will teach to dance. It's my dream afraid of waking that He will give the chance. I'm not worth the taking, I've nothing left to give. But there's no fear of dying,
I will forever live.
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, and you think that Love is only for the lucky and the strong: just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows, lies the seed that with God's Son's love in the spring becomes The Rose.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
time to update
I decided it was time to update my blog. I'm suppose to be writing a short essay over Chapter 8- Victorian Women for British History. I've taken this stupid class now 3 times and never finished. But, now I have to finish...
So, I'm blogging.
I ordered papa john's cheese sticks for the second night in a row- I REALLY need to go grocery shopping. I literally have carrots and juice in my fridge and tomatoe soup in the pantry. It's been like that for 3 days now- at some point I will give in and face some over worked single mother with her three year old out past both their bedtimes in the produce aisle. One day...
I keep finding friends from high school and church on here, which is good. Yea for me.
I just finished Disciple Now with the youth this weekend. Sure, there were some great spiritual moments- like when the kids finally understood what it means to have REAL LIFE in Jesus vs. just an existence. However, we will all forever remember the Amazing Race/Fear Factor game. It involved a race of eating SPAM and projectile vomit. In someone's front yard with cameras rolling... Ick.
Okay, nothing too deep going on. I've been reading a lot of books to prepare for missions. I've got lots of people praying for me. I have been working really hard for my D+R+A+M+A team- we're touring the Gulf Coast this summer to minister to Katrina Victims.
And, oh all right! I'll read the BLESSED book and write the BLESSED paper. (As the girls decided as a good subsitute for swearing might say OH GRACE!)
Monday, February 13, 2006
I weep for Michelle
I weep for Michelle Kwan.
I wanted more than anything for her to finally- after all the years, after all the other medals, after being a living legend, to rightfully take home that gold medal and forever be known as an Olympic champion.
And then,due to injury, she pulled out of the compeitition and is heading home. Like the gracious champion she is, shave gave a younger, inexperienced, no shot in hell chance of winning skater the chance to compete at the Olympics like every girl dreams.
Michelle has always been gracious. After Tara Lipinski's upset in '98, Michelle told the Tonight Show that she did not loose the gold but won the silver. (Why didn't Nancy Kerrigan ever get those words out?) She has earned more perfect scores than the next five skaters in the list have combined. She is a true skating legend- bigger than Dorothy Hamil, bigger than Peggy Flemming. She is truly the greatest.
And I weep for her.
I also weep for her because I wanted her to win that gold medal against all the odds. For all us old people who were told we are too old to skate seriously, too old to compete. I wanted her to win for us old girls who also have olympic dreams.
But I will stop weeping now for Michelle. Her heart is broken, and I will say a little prayer. But I don't count her out just yet. I think with serious athletic training, a truly rigorious and updated program, she could come back in 2010 at the ripe old age of 28, and take home gold. In between of course, taking home a few other golds like nationals and worlds. After all, she is the greatest.
That's my dream now for Michelle. And my prayer.
Don't you just LOVE the Olympics?!
Feb. 13, 2006
Hey guys. Please pray for me. I had been doing really well with the UC (Ulcerative Colitis) for about the past month or so, since I'd cut my medication in half it seemd to end the side effects. But, the past week has been really, REALLY bad (and gross so I won't share).
I'm going in for my regular exam on Wednesday. Please pray for me and for Dr. Joseph (that's my GI). Pray for wisdom, guidance, TOTAL HEALING IN JESUS NAME, and discernment of God's will. With the whole missionary thing, it makes logical sense to start weening off the medicine and doing less invasive procedures to see how my body will do. But, with this mini-flare up, that usually means more medicine or a change in medicine or even surgery. Like I said, prayers for peace, guidance, wisdom, and discerning of God's will are... that's my request. My wish, my heart's desire, is to be completly healed. I feel like Paul begging for healing and hearing God said my Grace is sufficient for you. But when you're sitting there, crying, sobbing, bleeding, loosing control of your body for hours on end... I just want to feel better. Sorry for the tmi.
And pray for my sister. She's a Marine, stationed in NC, and now has a hurt knee and ankle that they are having trouble rehabilitating. Lots of health issues with the Watsons. Keep us in prayer.
I leave in less than 1 month for Peru on a 10 day mission trip. God could be showing me my future life- taking mission trips in pain and not feeling well. I just need to accept it and deal with it by God's grace.
Or, it's a test. Will I go simply b/c God said to and not because it is convenient?
Or, it's from Satan and he just sucks and Jesus wins and rebuke Satan in Jesus name.
No end to the drama on this end, I guess (or my other end.) Just, pray for me and my family. Thanks.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
parenting sucks
I just want to inform all of those who think little babies/kids are oh so cute and wonderful that parenting sucks. Particularly parenting at 6am.
I've been REALLY sick for about 3 weeks and undergoing procedure and test after procedure and test (and on a butt load of medication- maybe I should re-phrase that...)
At any rate, I brought one of the cats home with me from Fort Worth to stay the night in Denton. I had 3 choices. My cat, Nolan, who has a variety of nicknames like Budha kitty, pretty girl, bitch, bad-bad girl, etc. Mom's cat, Ritalin, who hates me, pees on everything, and alternates between running scared outside in the backyard and hidding under my mother's bed. She's a 'fraidy cat because of cat # 3, Drucilla. We got Drucilla and gave her her name only to discover she was a he and kept trying to be 'special friends' with Ritalin and Nolan. Until we got him fixed. Now, s/he is just an annoying little brother to overly sensitive big sisters.
I brought Drucilla with me because Nolan requires 2 people in the car and I don't like Ritalin when mom is not around to clean up the pee. Plus, Drucilla likes to talk to me. "Drucilla, I don't feel good." "Really? That sucks" Short, meow meow meow phrases. It's really cute. If your voice goes up, s/he knows it's a question and will answer. The most hilarious is after s/he comes in from outside and you ask, "How was your day?" You get a 10 minute meowing session of answers. People think it's adorable.
Let me tell ya, it's not adorable in a 400 sq. foot apartment at 6:24 in the morning. We've been racing from furntiure to furniture for 45 minutes to burn up some extra calories. I got up at 3 to pull out the sleeper sofa rather than listen to her/him fall out of my loft bed every few minutes only to claw his/her way back up into bed where she could bounce on my hair. Now, we have our claws out and are trying to catch my fingers that are typing. And s/he never shuts up! Yak, yak, yak all night long. We've been together in this little apartment since 4pm when the scene shop closed and I didn't get all my hours (keep praying about that one guys- I gotta finish this class with a C!). Nothing has happened that we need to disucss. And I very seriously doubt we are having a discussion on the meaning of life. So, shut up!
So, if any of you are seriously considering becoming parents, and would like a test drive that doesn't involve an actual child you could warp/scare/ or otherwise hurt for life, please take Drucilla for a weekend!
It'll be the best birth control yet (aside from weekly nurshry duty at church...47 newborns, 4 hours, 138 diapers... parenting sucks...)
Ah, we have run out of energy and collapsed in a dead sleep (as is Drucilla's fashion). Just like a normal parent, while the baby is asleep, so will I... Good night!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
good bye to DRAMA
DRAMA
Disciples Running Around Madly Acting
April 23, 2006
Dear DRAMA Members,
This is one of the hardest letters I have ever needed to write because today I am writing to tell all of you who have participated in our ministry that DRAMAs run has come to an end. Due to inadequate finances, lack of actor interest, and the inability to book performance dates, it is clear that God is closing the door and it is time to move on.
Thank you to all the actors who gave their time to memorize scripts, work hard in rehearsals, and drive to and from performances all over the place for little or no pay. Thank you to our tech crew who faithfully moved props, took pictures/video, and got bossed around without receiving nearly enough thank yous. Thank you to our Board of Directors who gave their time to pray and advised me on the direction of this ministry. Your words of wisdom will be with me forever. And thank you to those who have sponsored our ministry through financial donations, time, bookings, or media promotion. Thank you for partnering with us to bring glory to God and to see lives changed for all of eternity. The work that goes into making a ministry and/or a theatre company work is endless, and it would have never happened without each and every one of you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My only regret is the name- Disciples Running Around Madly Acting. Its one of the coolest, most creative names I have ever known. If anyone would like to use the name for your church theatre ministry or any future endeavors you plan to attempt, just let me know. Also, there are many props, costumes, promotional items, and office supplies that I no longer need to store in my apartment. If anyone needs these items or knows a theatre company that would be blessed by such a donation, please contact me.
Again, thank you for your prayers and dedication to this ministry. I put the future into Gods hands- I know it is safe there. Remember, in all that you do, wherever you go in life, do all for the glory of God. I Peter 4:11
Always, in all ways, and forever...
Laura L. Watson
PRAYER of DRAMA
LORD, as I stumble through this life,
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more happiness than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair,
pass on Biblical truth in love.
Never let me forget that by YOUR grace
I am a Disciple...
My work is to serve, encourage, challenge and teach
both believers and nonbelievers with the message
of JESUS CHRIST all with the purpose of
giving glory to YOU.
Never let me grow so big that
I fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me jeopardize the integrity
of YOUR name by improper conduct.
Help me to always make others proud
of my actions as a Disciple.
Never let me acquire financial success or "stardom"
to the point where I will discontinue
calling upon my Creator in the hour of plenty.
And LORD,
in my final moment,
may I hear YOU whisper:
"When you worshipped ME through DRAMA,
you made ME smile."
In the name of our Risen Savior JESUS,
Amen.
Monday, May 08, 2006
update
Rather than work on my projects for History of Costume and Decor, I'd prefer to write about my so called life.
First, thank you to those who have sent emails and/or text messages in the last few days to check up on me. In my self pitty party, I often lament about how few friends I have. Those emails, text messages, and even phone calls really mean more to me than you will ever know. Thanks.
My health sucks. I had my flexi (aka mini-colonoscopy) last week. He saw a lot of bleeding and ulcers, but only in one spot, um... towards the end...a painful yet treatable... spot. I'm on steroids now (so no comments about weight gain, puffyiness, etc.). Hopefully, I'll only be on the steroids for a month. There's still a lot of bleeding and dehydration "concerns", but, as always, I feel okay. Kind of tired, but okay. I'm fighting another infection in a not fun place that because of the steroids is hard to treat. The discovery of that infection was in and of itself quite traumatic. Screaming, crying, the nurse held me down, bleeding. The nurse and the doctor both cried for me when the exam was over, after they gave me gatorade and elevated my feet to treat me for shock. And, then they told me they found a lump in my left armpit that I have to get biopsied. It's probably not a tumor/cancer since it is a soft lump. Probably a cyst or fatty tissue deposit. It just means surgery at some point. And I have two cavities I have to get filled next week. I've never had cavities before. Did I mention that I hate doctors? I'd love nothing more than to go to the doctor and recieve a healthy report. No bad finding, no tests needed, everything's where it's suppose to be. Bye bye, see you next year. It's been over two years since I had a doctor's visit like that. Either my gums are sick, my butt is sick, my vagina is sick, something. Where did my health go?
As far as school, I was able to work it out with all of two professors my attendance and makeup work. Three A's, one B or C, and then two TBD. (I was failing everything there for a while.) One class is just lost- and it was lost before I got sick. I hate British history. The other, well, it all comes down to these last two projects/the only two projects in the class. I have voiced my concerns to the department chair over the class in general and I feel I was really heard. It's nothing against the teacher (honestly, I like Barabara), it's the structure of the class and the fact that I gained nothing from this experience. That's still a little nerve wracking, but I calm myself by being thankfully I'm not the department head or the to-be department head. lol. Either way, I graduate in December. If I pass this class, I graduate with two degress. If I fail this class, I graduate with one degree. Either way, I'm getting the hell out of Denton Texas. The goal was to learn something. I 'majored' in theatre b/c I didn't know how to run a theatre company. I came to learn. I did that. The piece of paper means nothing to me compared to the knowledge I have gained.
Yes, D+R+A+M+A died in my hands. I mourned it. I sobbed. I got so angry.
But, I met a young man named Cody at the last camp we did, actually, our last performance, and God spoke things to me about him. We kept in touch. Two days after I posted Good bye to D+R+A+M+A, he emailed me to say he was coming to Dallas for a competiition. (He lives in Sweetwater Texas. No, I don't know where that is either. Far away.) He hadn't heard about D+R+A+M+A yet, so I broke the news and then offered all our stuff (lights, costumes, props, small set pieces) to his theatre ministry. He gladly accepted and on Friday May 5, D+R+A+M+A left my apartment. All of it. A $7000 donation, I calculated. So, D+R+A+M+A lives, in name, email, and website, in Sweetwater Texas. I always knew my life calling was to be a missionary. I was called to start D+R+A+M+A, to get it established, and then to let it go and fly on its own. As I often tell God, this is not how I would do it if I were God, but I somehow, for reasons I can't explain in all my anger towards God at this point in my life, somehow I still trust Him and He will fulfill His plans for His glory. So, pray for Cody. He is in WAY over his head and has me to help him. Poor kid.
D+R+A+M+A was so close to being out of debt when it ended, only $1300 to go. However, I did not give ALL of D+R+A+M+A to Cody and I reasumed that debt, along with my own debt from medical bills, mission trip costs, etc. I am now $3000 in debt, but if I work as much as I plan to, I should graduate in December debt free. Just in time to move back in with my parents... does moving in with mom and dad negate the accomplishment of graduating college?
My sister is about as bad off as I am, except she has money. Both her knee caps are displaced, which is messing up her feet. She can't walk anymore. The guy who outranks her won't let her go to medical for treatment. This condition is completly treatable with rest, knee braces, and light physical therapy in about 6-8 weeks. After 5 months of doing the opposites, she now has nerve damage and a great deal of other physical problems the Marines now want to discharge her for. Problems that if treated in the first place would have been fine, but now, may get her kicked out of the service without any benefits or college money. There are other complaints too. One girl broke her foot 5 months ago and the guy in charge won't let her go to medical to get the break set. She has bones sticking out and she's told to tuff it out. Another girl asked for a pregnancy test, was denied, and then had a near fatal miscarriage in the field. Another girl hurt her back (shot, I think) and woke up the next morning paralyzed from the waist down. They discharged her saying she was depressed and it was therefore a psycological discharge. She was depressed b/c she was paralyzed! But, because of how they marked her discharge, she has NO medical benefits from the Marines who did this to her. You might say there are lawsuits brewing, congressional investigations, etc, but what you should be really concerned about is the fact that I'm taking this story to the press. These girls are being forced out of the Marines by a male commander who thinks woman shouldn't be there. I support the military and this in no way reflects the entire Marine Corps, but this is really, REALLY bad. The stuff scandals and movies are made of. Pray for my sister. She's trying to fight for her rights and her job from within the system. My parents are fighting with congressmen and senators to get investigations going. I'm going to add media pressure (b/c congressmen only care about gas prices right now.) And my poor sister crys when she walks to breakfast every day. Pray for Brittney, and all marines.
I plan to teach swim lessons all summer, and towards the end of summer take a couple of theatre classes. No travel plans. No plans at all, really, other than be stress free, find a cure for Ulcerative Colitis, and work out my anger and bitterness towards God (really, can't He just answer "why?" with "Because" rather than the old stand by "Trust me, my grace is sufficient" bullshit?).
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I PASSED! I PASSED!
I PASSED! I PASSED!
Undeservably, I passed history of costume and decor with a C, I made two A's (PLAYWRIGHTING and Creative Drama), and two B's (the stage production B is also undeserved, the other B was senior colloquium- could have been an A if I could ever get anywhere on time.)
Yea! Whew.
Now, I will have reached two goals. The overall goal is to learn something that makes me a better missionary (my tools in the field being theatre, teaching, and medical assistance) and of course, be a better person. The secondary goal was to get two college degrees. Well, I didn't learn a thing in History of Costume and Decor, but I learned TONS in everything else, so I think it all balances out in the end. And the fact that I can still graduate as a double major- on time- is a great relief.
I just hope and pray that HCD undergoes a major renovation so that future students are not cheated out of an education. A waste of money, time, and a lot of stress, and I did not learn. I thank God for the C, but I would have been happy with an F if I had learned something.
Guess I'm weird.
I had my first cavities EVER filled today. As far as doctor visits go, this one was the best one in over two years. It didn't hurt, I didn't get any worse news, the people were all very nice and understanding, and there was no screaming, blood, or a nurse needing to hold me down. Ah. Maybe my body has decided to turn itself around... one could hope.
One doctor visit down, four to go- and that's just in the next two weeks! Still got the lump in my armpit to worry/think about, massive cervical infection that I just can't wipe out, and ulcerative colitis- where's my cure, people? Where's my cure?
ohhhhhh, soap operas... it's so nice to sit and do NOTHING for HOURS in front of the TV...or in front of the computer... ahhh...
I'm also getting a professional weekly massage now to try and relieve stress and back pain that is caused by all the other pains keeping the muscles tense. (Yes, my muslces are tensed due to emotional stress, but my body is also under a lot of physical stress, so the massage is a medical need... and it feels sooooooooooo good.)
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Saturday, May 20, 2006
Always check the label
Always check the label.
So, you might have heard somewhere that I have this HORRID disease called Ulcerative Colitis. Well, call me paranoid, but I keep a close eye on all the medications I am on, especically when I get sick with other stuff and get prescriptions from various doctors.
Two doctos and two pharmacists missed the fact that one doctor prescribed a medication that could have put me in the hospital if I hadn't stopped to read every single line of the information packet stuffed in with the medicines.
I had told the prescribing doctor all my medical history and medications. When she prescribed the new one, I called and told my other doctor to make sure it was in his chart, too. Dropped it off with the pharmacist. Picked it up from a different pharmacist. No one has yet said anything, and I assumed they all had double checked for drug interactions, etc.
They hadn't. Just before I took the medicine, I read a strong warning that this is not for patients with Ulcerative Colitis. I start making phone calls. Eventually, I talk to a third doctor (because my doctors couldn't be reached at 4:30 on a Friday) and he called in a different prescription and made profuse apologies for the oversight.
No skin off my back. Why? Because I read the label.
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Party (I like to plan ahead)
Because I had the devestating experience last year of planning a LAVISH Christmas party that NO ONE came to (except the Mormon's who were visiting door-to -door), I decided to let everyone know 7 PLUS months in advance that I am planning a major party. Here are the details.
Mark your calendars now for Laura Watson's
Christmas/Moving-to- Fort- Worth/ Mission-trip-Picture Fellowship/ Mission- Trip- to- Romania/ Moving- to- China/ I- graduated- from- college- with- two- degrees- (history and theatre) PARTY!!!!
Or, simply put: YEA! It's a PARTY!
Who: People who know me, or know someone who knows me. Kids and pets welcome!
What: Party
When: Friday December 15, 2006, 5-10pm come and go dessert party and Saturday December 16, 5-10pm come and go Pot Luck BBQ (drinks and dessert supplied)
Where:Friday: Denton, Texas
Saturday: Fort Worth, Texas
(I don't want to post the full address on the internet, email me if you don't know where I live!)
Why: Because...
How: Show up. If coming to Denton, bring a dessert to feed 3 people. If coming to the party in Fort Worth, bring your favorite meat to grill, we'll provide the rest. Oh, and please RSVP so I can know how many drinks to provide. (And please RSVP if you CAN'T come so I won't buy tons of food and have NO ONE show up like last year... sniff sniff...) RedRoseSoul@yahoo.com or call me if you have the #.
Come one folks, it's six parties in one, stretched out over two days and in two different cities that I'm taking seven months to plan... there's no reason to miss it!!!
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Sunday, June 11, 2006
just to let you know
Current mood: content
I'm just blogging so to let you know what's going on in the land of Laura.
Nothing ends my woeisme pitty parties like getting a job. And man, am I working hard! Just 4 or 5 hours a day, an hour for every meal, and I'm making $500 a week! What do I do? Teach swim lessons. Best job in the world is lifeguarding. Second best is being a private swim instructor for the rich and famous... or the semi-rich and not well known but well connected with other folks who've got a pool, kids, and the cash. Pretty awesome stuff, y'all.
So, I swim all day, spend an hour or so trying to keep my hair from turning green (without much luck, so try not to laugh if you see me) and I come home excitedly looking forward to television. I just discovered The Closer on TNT today. She's hilarious! (Reminds me of my mom in some freaky cat lover ways.) This week, I'm so looking forward to the premieres of 4400, Dead Zone, and SG1.
I am SUCH a nerd.
Keep praying for my sister. She's still hurt, still can't go to medical, and still has poop heads for bosses. My sister, the Marine. Me the missionary. And neither of us are healthy.
I leave for China February 25. Pray for me. Am I really ready? Is this the organization to go with? And pray as I try to discern what's really going on in China. The group I'm going with makes it sound like it's just like here, with registered, legal churches, etc. Everything else I read, missionaries I talk to, things I've heard growing up is opposite. Two conflicting reports and I would like to know what I'm walking into before I get there.
I'm almost out of debt! Yay for me. (Yay for swim lessons and parents who pay the rent.) Feel free to help me, or make a donation to my mission trip plans. I'll be out of debt just in time to need $5000 in airfare costs, so... be kind. Thanks!
Monday, June 19, 2006
will I be fat at my high school reunion?
Current mood: crappy
Category: Life
So I just spent two hours brousing the my space ads of folks who graduated from my high school, looking at lots of people I swear I've never seen before, etc.
Why did all the skinny people stay skinny, the fat people stayed fat, and I went from skinny to fat in all the places I can't hide? I'm stuck on the last ten pounds to go, most of it apparently in my face (I have pictures where you can see literal INCHES difference in my face from one day to the next, is there any way to fix this?) Anyways, I feel very fat and plan to hide from my high school reunion until I can fit back into my prom dress while breathing.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
out of debt! out of debt, dodadoda
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life
Isn'it ironic, don't ya think?....
The last remnanet of D R A M A in my life (other than the t-shirt) was the telephone, 1-888-JC-DRAMA. The new artistic director, Cody, decided against keeping it. (website still works, www.disciplesrunningaroundmadlyacting.org) It was turned off on July 5, 2006.
The last payment to discover for the remaining D R A M A debt was posted on, you guessed it, July 5, 2006.
I'm out of debt! I'm out of debt! I'm out of debt! I'm out of debt!
Everybody do the HAPPY DANCE for LAURA!!!!!!!
And then thank God for providing WAY ahead of schedule....
And then pray because Laura needs to raise a little over $5000 for mission trips by February, preferably November so I can go back to Peru.
Why is Laura talking in third person?
Just remember, if you get into trouble with credit cards or start a business that never seems to turn a profit, you CAN overcome it. It took about 4 months for me to spend a little under $11,000. It took me two years to pay it off. No bank loans, the occasional donation to the ministry, and a lot of help from my parents, and a whole lotta work. It can be done!
Whew. I feel good! (dunnnanna) And I knew that I would (dunnanana)
You may now post your congratulations.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Hmm, I should be doing something else, so I'll blog!
current mood: Content
Catagory: Life
Hello My Space. I know, I know, you have been anxiously waiting for my latest life update.
Well, I am STILL out of debt. It's amazing what making that last payment will do to you- TERRIFIED to use the credit card for anything! I'm slowly adjusting to what it's like to have a savings account, too. Not much there, but hey, have to start somewhere.
I'm also adjusting to not being all D+R+A+M+A all the time. I'm still involved- helping Cody whenever I can, but I have time to relax and I don't worry about it. Cody is the right man for the job. He's got a good foundation, and D+R+A+M+A does too (if I do say so myslef.) I'll be helping out more because I need 3 hours upper level credit and I can use D+R+A+M+A rather than doing actual work. Turns out, I could have gotten credit for D+R+A+M+A every semester, but... alas, I didn't know. Not that I'm bitter or anything...
I finished summer school. Made an A! in costume. That's right- Barbara Cox gave me an A! That class was nervewracking, but I enjoy Barbara. There are times when I could do without her antics, and other times when I just want a straight answer, but overall, I think I like her because that will be me as an old lady. And I like me! (Summer school would be why I have not blogged until now, by the way. Seven days a week, 8-12 hours every day, for five weeks straight.)
And now I'm back teaching swim lessons. Not very many lessons, but enough to keep me on a schedule. I have a crazy fall semester that starts in about a week. But before I know it- it's over! 21 hours. Gosh, I'm insane. But, I only have 2 regular babysitting jobs, the chidlren's theatre team at church (I'm more setting up their organization than actually running it), and school. I'll be fine. (Everyone tell my mom to stop worrying.)
Now, last but not least, my health. I'm doing better. I'm in remission. I'm still not happy that their definition of remission is not my definition of normal or healthy. But, this week I started a new supplement program called Garden of Life. It was started by a guy with Chron's (a disease similar to Ulcerative Colitis) and he's a Christian who believes our bodies are designed to work and heal a certain way. All natural stuff. I'm eating dirt and drinking grass, but I feel better. We'll see how long it lasts. If I can get through this semester without a flare up or trip to the hosptial- I'll start promoting Garden of Life as a miracle drug.
Oh, guess that wasn't last, but I am moving. I move out of Denton the week after GRADUATION to Fort Worth. (Well, in November I'm going to Peru.) Then, I'm going to Tennesee for New Year's and Talitha's birthday. Then, in February, I move to China!!!! Please, send me money.
Thanks for reading. Makes me feel all special if you leave comments.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Brittney is coming home!
Current mood: giddy
Brittney is coming home! After 9 months of the Marine Corps refusing her medical treatment, my sister packed her bags and seperated herself from the Marines! She'll be home Sunday night! Finally, we can get her healthy!!! (I am cat sitting while my parents drive to Atlanta to meet her bus and bring her home in comfort. She had her ID stolen while at Camp LeJuene and had no picture ID, so she had to travel home by bus.)
Oh, and I'm going to China in August 2007, not February. Just needed more time to prepare, I think. Plus, I can get an apartment with my sister and enjoy being a college grad without too much serious grown up stuff hitting too soon. I do plan to teach swim lessons next summer, too.
And I plan to loose 20 pounds between now and Thanksgiving. I also want to be able to run an entire mile (no time limit, but continuous running), bench press 75 pounds, lift more than that, and fit into my high school prom dress. Who's with me?!
